Flawed Heart
by LilyRose Blue
Summary: Jax seeks retribution for the assault on his mother and it lands him in hot water. Will Tara be able to save him before it is too late?
1. Chapter 1

Jax Teller lay in the bed looking at his slumbering girlfriend, Tara Knowles. Tara had been the love of his life for as long as he could remember. Jax and Tara had been friends since they were in grade school and as they got older they both fell in love with one another. Things had been hectic to say the least as of late. Jax's relationship with his step-father, Clay Morrow, was deteriorating a little more every day. Things had become so strained that Jax decided to go Nomad.

Nomad was a special type of hell. You didn't have a home with any particular charter. You attended meetings in a particular place but other than that you were pretty much on your own. Being on your own could be a dangerous prospect. Jax like the rest of the members of SAMCRO had made a lot of enemies from fellow outlaws to law enforcement. The moment he went Nomad he would have a bounty on him. But Nomad was not to be for Jax.

The night of the vote his mother, Gemma, asked him and Tara to come to her house to talk. Although as Jax would find out Gemma was the only one to do any talking, Gemma recounted her abduction and horrific gang rape. This news stopped Jax and Clay dead in their tracks. No more were they at odds they both realized that they had to stand united and united they were.

Jax laid there with Tara thinking about just how different his life had become in a matter of 24 hours. Yesterday he was feuding with his step-father and leaving the mother charter of a club he loved more than life and now today he would have to stand united with this man and figure out a way to heap pain and vengeance on the people who had violated his mother.

Tara stirred next to Jax and looked over at him. She saw the tense look on his face. "Jax…did you get any sleep last night?" came Tara quiet voice filled with concern for the man she loved more than life. She moved her t-shirt clad body closer to Jax and laid her head on his chest.

"A little…but not nearly enough. But it will have to be enough. I have to go in early for a meeting. Clay and I are going to tell everyone about what happened." "We've got to get some sort of plan together." "What happened to my mother has to be answered." said Jax still trying to wrap his mind around it. His mother had always been a paragon of strength. He would do anything to protect her

Tara said "I know that you and the rest of the boys are going to do what is right…but…what happens if?"

Jax shook his head and said "If we go to jail then that is what happens." "I owe my mother this and much more." "And I can guarantee everyone in the club feels the very same." "Not just for my mother but for what it could mean for the ones they love too." "What we are up against…they have no code." "Outlaws don't target each others' families." "It is a mutual respect…but there is no respect here." "And no respect means no rules."

"If something happens to you…what Abel?" asked Tara. In her head she screamed *what about me?* But she didn't dare breathe those words.

"My mother will be around to help you take care of him. Our lawyer Rosen can get the paper work together to make sure that you can keep taking care of him in my absence." said Jax.

"What if Wendy reappears and wants Abel back?" asked Tara looking up at him for a moment. Her eyes searched his intently. Wendy was Abel's birth mother and Jax's ex wife. She also happened to be addicted to drugs. "She could try to take him and I wouldn't have any standing…I'd like to try to adopt him Jax. Or atleast be in the process of it."

Jax was shocked that Tara brought up adopting Abel but she had been there with him from the time of his birth. She had helped take care of him in the hospital. Jax said "I'll call Rosen and see how we can go about getting Wendy's rights terminated." "That's the first step in you adopting Abel." "It means a lot to me that you want to be there for Abel if I can't be."

"I love you Jax Teller and I love Abel." "And if you aren't here then I want to be here to raise this little boy." said Tara seriously.

Jax kissed her softly and looked into her eyes. "That is why I love you so much." said Jax.

"I love you too Jax…always and forever." said Tara with a smile.

Tara glanced over at the clock. "It is 7:00..what time do you have to go to the club for the meeting?"

"Around 8:00 I will have to get up pretty soon." "While I am at the club I want you and Abel to go to my mom's house. Just as a precaution. I would feel better knowing that the three most important people in my life are safe."

"Five…" said Tara softly looking into Jax's eyes. She didn't want to tell him right now at this very moment but she didn't know when would be a good time.

"Five?" asked Jax with a quizzical look. "Are you saying….? What I think you are saying Tara."

Tara sat up in the bed with her back up against the headboard. She nodded. "I am pregnant Jax…." "I found out the other day." "But then this Nomad vote thing came up and…I just…I wanted to wait to tell you when things had cooled down some."

Jax sat up in the bed and looked into her eyes. He moved his hands to her face cradling her face. "You are having my baby?" asked Jax with a grin.

"Babies…" corrected Tara. "My doctor confirmed it on ultrasound, I am pregnant with twins."

Jax looked stunned and asked "Twins?" He chuckled looking into her eyes. He leaned in and kissed her passionately. "You are having my babies?" He smiled looking into her eyes. "Of all of the bad things that have gone on it is nice to have one good thing." Jax corrected himself. "Two good things." "Well, more than ever I want to make sure you are at the house with my mother." "I want to make sure you are safe." He kissed her again.

Tara took in a deep breath. She was relieved that Jax had taken the news so well. She smiled and said "I love you Jax Teller." "But I had better get up and get a shower if Abel and I are going to get out of here before 8:00." She smiled and hopped out of the bed and headed into the shower.

Jax laid there while Tara showered and realized his own stakes in this game had just increased. He had to more lives to look out for and more importantly…not wind up in jail for.


	2. Chapter 2

Tara finished her shower and got dressed in a black halter summer dress. She pulled her hair up into a ponytail. She flitted past the bed and smirked at Jax. "You should grab a shower while you have a chance babe."

Tara left their bedroom and walked down the hall to the nursery. She walked over to Abel's crib and picked him up. "Hi there little guy, it is time to get up." She tickled him getting a laugh from the baby. She got him changed and dressed for the day. Tara dressed Abel in a light blue polo shirt and a pair of denim shorts. Tara took him to the kitchen and fed him and put on coffee for Jax.

While Tara waited on Jax she started a quick breakfast of frozen waffles and bacon.

Jax walked into the kitchen and walked up behind her. "Mmm you are cooking for me?" "I am definitely lucky. I don't have long to eat though."

"You can spare ten minutes right?"asked Tara putting a hand on her hip.

Jax chuckled at the stance and kissed her forehead. "Yes, I have ten minutes." He went over and picked up Abel. "There is my little man." He sat down with his son and held him. Depending on how things went today it might be the last time he got to hold him. Abel squirmed in his arms and babbled. Jax looked at Tara standing at the stove cooking his bacon.

Tara turned around and caught his gaze. "What?" asked Tara with a laugh.

"Just thinking about how lucky I am to have you in my life." "Depending in how things go this morning at the meeting… " Jax didn't really know how to put it. "What I need for you is to pack a bag for yourself and for Abel for a couple of days." "I will feel safer if I know you are there with my mother."

Tara raised an eyebrow turning her attention away from the stove for a moment.

Jax could see the questions in her eyes and he just shook his head. "This is just as a precaution Tara. I might be very busy for the next couple of days and we are certainly going to raise the temperature here in town which means I don't want you and Abel being sitting ducks." "Do you understand what I am saying?"

Tara nodded and said "Of course Jax. I want you to be able to focus on what you have to do so that you can come home safely to me and Abel." Tara served breakfast and had a seat with Jax at the table. She sat next to him realizing this might be the last time she sat with him. She heard Gemma's words in her head *Love the man, learn to love the club* Tara smiled and said "I am here for you baby. I am your rock whatever you need whenever you need. So don't worry about me."

Jax smiled looking into her eyes and for that moment he could believe that she truly meant it. He knew how hard it was for her to adjust to the outlaw lifestyle but so far she was doing it with flying colors. There were a million things that both Jax and Tara wanted to say to one another and yet the breakfast table was silent aside from Abel happy babblings and coos.

After breakfast Tara went to clear the table and Jax stopped her. "You go ahead and pack for yourself and Abel. I will handle the dishes." Jax started clearing the table and loading the dishwasher

Tara watched him momentarily and then nodded. "Alright.." She left the kitchen and went to the nursery first. She packed a week's worth of clothes, supplies, and toys for Abel. She set his bags in the hallway before going to the bedroom she shared with Jax. Tara had a seat on the bed she felt light headed. It felt like everything was happening all at once. She finally pulled herself together and quickly threw together a couple of bags for herself. She carried those to the hallway.

Jax walked out of the kitchen holding Abel. "You managed to pack quickly. Do you think you have everything you will need?"

"I packed for about a week so I think that I have everything." said Tara.

"Well, let's get you and the kid loaded into the car and over to mom's house." Jax handed Abel over to Tara and picked up the bags that she had packed. He carried them out to her car and put them in the trunk.

Tara walked out to the car and put Abel in his car seat in the backseat of the car. Once he was securely buckled in she closed the back door and walked around to the trunk where Jax was standing.

"I am going to follow you over you to my mom's house and then I will ride over to the club, ok?"

Tara nodded and said "Alright." She kissed him and then walked to the drivers' side and hopped in. Tara put on her seatbelt and started up the car. She drove over to the Teller-Morrow home and parked in the drive.

Jax followed Tara over there on his motorcycle. When she parked he collected the bags from the trunk and carried them up to the house.

Tara got out of the car and got Abel out of his car seat. She closed the door and walked up to the house where Gemma was already standing at the door waiting for them.

Gemma looked worse for wear like she hadn't slept a wink the previous night. She tied her bathroom tighter and opened the storm door for them. "Good morning." Gemma kissed her son's cheek and then Tara's.

"Mornin' ma." said Jax walking into the house with the bag and closing the door behind him.

"Clay is still here. He figured you two could just ride to the club together." said Gemma. "He's just finishing his breakfast."

Jax nodded. "Thank you for letting Abel and Tara stay here."

"Family is always welcome. You know that Jackson." Gemma looked to Tara "The guest room is already set up for you and Abel. Do you need any help getting settled in?"

Jax said "I will help her." "Come on babe." Jax really just wanted their last few moments to be in private. Jax carried the bags to the guest room and set them on the bed out of the way. Gemma had put an old crib and changing table in the room for Abel. Jax gently took Abel and put him in the crib and then walked back over to Tara and took her into his arms. " I love you with all of my heart Tara. No matter what happens I want you to know that…to remember that always."

Tara tried to hold back tears listening to his declaration. "I love you more than anything in this world Jax. And I want you to know that no matter what happens I will be right here waiting for you." "You make my world make sense." "I've loved you since we were kids and even having loved you that long…I still love you more and more with each day that we are together." "My heart belongs to you Jackson Teller. It always has and it always will."

Jax looked into her eyes hearing those words slip from her beautiful lips. He pulled her closer against him and kissed her passionately. He pulled back and caressed her cheek his eyes focused on hers. " "I don't know what I ever did to deserve love like this…but I am glad that you are in my life." "You are my calm in the storm baby." Jax smiled softly and then just held her for a minute before moving away. He walked over to the crib where Abel was standing up at the rails. Jax kissed the top of his son's head and said "I love you little guy."

Tara watched Jax's last moments with Abel with a heavy heart.

Jax said "I had better go meet up with Clay it is time for this meeting." He walked out of the room and into the living room where Clay and Gemma were saying their goodbyes.

Tara followed carrying Abel.

Gemma kissed Clay and then looked over seeing Jax. "Both of you….come back to me in on piece." She hugged Jax and kissed his cheek. "I love you Jax."

Clay looked at the woman he loved and offered a cheeky smile. "We always do." But his smile belied his true feelings. He was still reeling from the revelation that his wife had been brutally violated and nothing could quench his anguish…except for blood.

"I love you too ma." said Jax he hugged Gemma and then tossed one last look at Tara. He winked at her and then walked outside.

Clay walked over and kissed Abel on the head. "Keep this place locked up ladies."

"As if you had to tell us." said Gemma with a smile.

Clay said "I love you Gem."

"I love you too Clay." said Gemma.

Clay walked out of the house and climbed onto his bike. Once he and Jax were set they both took off for the club.

Gemma and Tara stood at the door watching their men ride off into the morning sun. They both stayed there until the sound of the motorcycles could no longer be heard and the sun's glare took their bikes out of view. Gemma closed the front door and took a breath. "Looks like it is just the three of us now."


	3. Chapter 3

Tara spent the entire day worried for Jax's safety. She waited for his return but the hours started to run together and soon it was darkness outside.

Tara walked into the kitchen seeing Gemma preparing dinner. "Can I help with anything?" asked Tara.

"Sure you can work on the salad for me. Clay called from the club and said that they should be home in about 30 minutes. From the sounds of it some decision has been made." said Gemma.

"A decision?" "Any hint as to what?" asked Tara afraid of the answer.

Gemma turned and looked in her direction. "Clay didn't tell me anything over the phone. Some things are better said in person." "Whatever it is we just have to support them the best that we can."

"Aren't you scared Gemma. We could lose them?" asked Tara in a worried tone.

"Of course I am worried. Clay is my husband, Jax is my son, and the rest of the boys are my family. I've devoted all of my adult life to SAMCRO and they are all risking their livelihoods, freedom, and perhaps lives…to right a wrong that was done to me." "If this turns out bad I will never be able to live with it." "But the danger…the risk we all take it is a part of who we are." Gemma said "I know it is all new to you but the longer you are with Jax and the more you see the easier it will be to deal with."

"I hope so Gemma. I really hope so. I just told Jax today that I am pregnant with twins."

Gemma chuckled softly. "So I am going to be a grandmother again." "I never could say the boy moved slowly." "I am happy for the two of you Tara." "I know we haven't always seen eye to eye…" "But I was just worried." "This is a hard life… too hard for some people." "I've seen what it can do for people who aren't ready for it."

"I don't know if I was ready for it when we were younger. The things I've seen in these last few months…I don't know if I was ready then..but I know I am ready now." said Tara. "I'd do anything for Jax and I know that he would do anything for me."

"I definitely believe that." said Gemma with a smile. "You've both grown up over the years. You've both come into your own personalities and confidence." "I am glad to have you as part of the family."

Tara finished working on the salad as she heard the rumble of motorcycles approaching the house. "They're home." said Tara. She washed her hands and hurried out of the kitchen to greet Jax and Clay.

The front door opened and Clay walked in first his face looked worn and he looked tired. He nodded in Tara's direction and walked over to his wife. Jax walked into the house behind Clay closing and locking the door behind him.

Jax had barely closed the door before Tara flew into his arms and hugged him tightly. Jax held her and stood there not saying anything for a few minutes. He took her hand and said "Listen we should go into the bedroom and talk." His voice was somber and serious.

Tara nodded nervously. "Alright, I needed to check on Abel anyway." Tara took Jax's hand and walked with him to the guest room where they would be saying. She looked over into Abel's crib and saw that he was still fast asleep. She had a sleep on the edge of the bed. "So what is it that you have to tell me Jax?" asked Tara in a strong voice, but her eyes told a different story. She was scared witless.

Jax sat next to Tara on the bed. Jax took her hand into his and said "We held the meeting this morning and decided to retaliate." "We've spent the day conducting surveillance on our targets." "It is going down later tonight. The less you know about the plans the better. I will tell you everything once it is all over."

"Tonight?" asked Tara in a strained voice. "Why so soon?"

"Something like this can't go unanswered and we need to strike while our intelligence on them is still good." "If everything goes to plan I'll be back here by morning…" Jax didn't need to explain the alternatives to Tara. They were simple death or prison were the only reasons he wouldn't be home.

Tara said "Well, is there anything you need from me?" Jax said "Just be here and take care of yourself and Abel. That is all I need from you."

"You know I will do that Jax." Tara hugged him tightly. She was just quiet

"Nothing ever keeps me down for long babe you know that." Jax gave her a smile. "Come on smile for me please." said Jax looking into her eyes.

Tara smiled alittle and said "Just come back to me." "That is all I want is for you to come back to me." "I love you so much Jax…" She couldn't finish her statement the words got lost in her tears.

Jax took her hand and placed it against his chest over his heart. "It may be flawed but this heart only beats for you."

As Jax and Tara sat together on the bed silence filled the room. Both of them had so much to say but neither of them had the heart to say it. The stillness was interrupted when Gemma knocked on the bedroom door. "Dinner is ready." called gently softly through the door.

Tara snapped out of the emotional trance that she had been in and stood up from the bed. She smiled and said "Come on Teller it is time to get you fed." She smirked and said "Can't have you going to war on an empty stomach." Tara was determined to be the rock he needed her to be despite her own fears at the moment.

Jax flashed a smile and said "Okay, okay." He got up and walked out of the bedroom and into the dining room. The long table was set for four. Clay was at the head of the table on one end and Jax's place was set at the other end.

Gemma and Tara served dinner and it was consumed in silence. The tension in the air was palpable. As dinner wrapped up Jax and Clay got ready to head out again.

Tara looked at Jax she couldn't bring herself to say goodbye to him. "Go do what you do best baby." Tara smiled. That was the only thing she could manage.

Jax just chuckled and kissed her. He rested his hand on her stomach and said "I'll be back." "I love you."

Jax left out after hugging his mother and Clay followed suit. Thunder rolled across the sky as Clay and Jax rode off on their motorcycles.

Tara folded her arms across her chest worriedly wondering if the storm rolling in was an omen of things to come.


	4. Chapter 4

Clay and Jax rode off toward the meeting site which was a block away from Ethan Zobelle's cigar shop. When Jax and Clay arrived Tig and Bobby were already there waiting on them. Within minutes Opie and Chibs arrived.

Jax got off his bike and lit a cigarette. He paced slightly as his adrenaline started getting the best of him. He looked up hearing the last of the guys arrive.

Clay said "Chibs and Opie you take the backdoor. You make sure Zobelle doesn't make any quick retreats. Tig you go in the front with me and Jax. Bobby, you and Juice are going to be out front. I want those front windows gone. When we burn the place down I want this town to light up like a lantern." You ready for this VP?"

"I was born ready. Let's take them down." The fury on Jax's face was unlike him. He checked his gun and climbed onto his bike.

Juice asked "You want to wear a mask?"

"I don't need a mask. I want the bastard to see my face. I want my face to be the very last thing he sees." said Jax.

Everyone climbed on their bikes and rode the one block to Ethan Zobelle's cigar shop.

Inside Zobelle was just closing down the shop for the night. He was there by himself. His ears perked up hearing the motorcycles engines in front of his shop. He called for backup from his cronies and grabbed his gun. He wasn't going down without a fight.

Chibs and Opie hopped off of their bikes and ran around to the back of the Cigar shop and kicked in the door. They stormed in through the back and made their way to the main room up front.

Jax, Clay, and Tig shot through the glass of the front door and walked through the now empty door frame. Before Ethan Zobelle could even move Jax raised his gun and shot him in the shoulder.

Ethan let out a pained screamed and dropped his gun. Zobelle fell to the ground and backed himself up against the counter. "Listen…Listen I have money. A lot of money. I can make it worth your while to leave me alive." Zobelle would say anything to buy time until his backup could arrive.

"You think we want money?" growled Clay putting his big boot on Ethan Zobelle's neck. "There ain't enough money in the world to pay back what you took from me…from my family…from my wife." "You ain't walking out of here alive." "Not tonight." said Clay.

Ethan's eyes shot to the windows of his shop as Bobby and Juice broke the glass in the windows and started pouring gasoline over the front of the structure.

"We are going to have ourselves a roast tonight. And lucky you." "You are the guest of honor." said Jax.

"Listen to me! Everyone…everyone has a price. You are a bunch of lowlife bikers..barely scraping by with your little organization. I can change that. I can give you the starting capital for something bigger… better. You can expand your business…" "I..I..I have friends in high places I can make sure that those charges against all of you get dropped."

"What part of we ain't for sale do you not understand?" asked Jax kicking Zobelle's side. "You are going to die tonight and there ain't nothing that is going to save your life now!"

"Well, then kill me already!" screamed Zobelle at his wits' end.

"A quick death would be too good for you." said Clay in a dark voice. "Ope…Chibs give me the handcuffs and a chair."

Chibs grabbed a chair and moved it to the center of the room.

Tig and Jax picked up Zobelle and tossed him in the chair. Opie handcuffed Zobelle to the chair.

"Wh..what are you going to do?" asked Zobelle.

Opie doused him with light fluid. "Does that answer your question?"

Clay punched Zobelle and said "Have a good night." Clay walked out with the rest of the guys. He stood at the door and took out a lighter and lit a cigar. He tossed the open flame into a puddle of gasoline that Bobby and Juice had poured in the doorway.

The boys stood there watching the fire start to spread to the outside of the structure. As they stood admiring their handiwork a black van rolled to a stop and several men got out opening fire on them.

Zobelle's back up hard arrived but was it in enough time to save Zobelle from his own firey hell?

Three of the men that arrived in the van ran around back to see if they could make entry into the cigar shop to save Zobelle. The other three men continued shooting at Clay, Jax, Tig, Bobby, Juice, Chibs, and Opie.

The members of SAMCRO started shooting back as sirens could be heard a few blocks away. Clay whistled for the boys letting them know they needed to leave. Everyone got onto their bikes and tried to take off. The boys sped off toward the club trying to avoid the police.

The boys sped away from the cigar shop and arrived at the club in record time. When Clay arrived he looked around and realized Jax hadn't made it back with them.

Clay said "Did anyone see Jax leave the cigar shop?"

Opie said "Sure Clay he was right next to me when we all left." "I lost sight of him a couple of streets before we made it here."

Clay said "Opie you are with me let's go and find Jax."

Clay and Opie hopped into one of the trucks and retraced the route they had taken from the cigar shop.

"Clay stop!" "there is Jax's bike!" said Opie. Opie was pointed toward a side street where Jax's bike was laying on it's side.

Clay swerved up onto the curb and hopped out of the truck with Opie. They found Jax unconscious and bleeding from a gunshot wound to the chest. He had his cell phone in his hand as if he had been trying to call for help before losing consciousness.

"Son..."was all Clay could manage.


	5. Chapter 5

Clay kneeled beside Jax's unconscious body in shock for a moment. Sure, Clay had seen plenty of dying and dead men. His years of being in the military and later a member of SAMCRO had afforded him the ability to be able to stomach the worst. But to see blood pouring out of the limp body of his step-son was too much for the man to bear. Clay had watched Jax grow up and more than that for the last 17 year Clay had been his father figure.

At that moment Clay forgot about his chronic arthritis that often made his hands useless. Clay scooped up Jax's body carried him to the pick-up truck.

Clay's sudden movement shocked Opie out of his thoughts. He hopped to his feet and raced to the truck ahead of Clay.

"Open the tailgate." demanded Clay as he walked to the truck. "We are going to take him to the house."

Opie raced to the truck and let down the tailgate.

Clay climbed up into the back of the truck still carrying Jax. "You drive Opie." said Clay.

Opie nodded still stunned. He ran around the truck to the drivers' side and hopped in. He pulled off as quickly as he could. Opie burned rubber over to Clay and Gemma's house.

Clay sat in the back of the truck, more of Jax's blood pouring out onto the hand he had placed over the wound. Even though Opie was driving as fast as he could it still seemed as if they were going at a snail's pace.

Opie finally arrived at the house he drove up so close to the front door it looked as if he was about to drive right into the house. Opie hopped out of the truck and Clay tossed him the keys to the house. "Open the door. I am going to bring him in."

"I can help you Clay." said Opie.

"Just open the damn door like I told you too!" bellowed Clay. He climbed out of the truck and carried Jax to the door that Opie unlocked. "Gemma!" "Doc!" "We need you!"

The house that had been silent just moments before erupted into activity. Gemma and Tara had already settled into bed for the night. Gemma was the first out of her bedroom dressed in a nightgown she didn't bother with a robe as she raced into the living room hearing Clay's voice. "Clay, what is...?" Gemma trailed off seeing her son's now pale body.

Clay laid Jax's body on the couch.

Tara came into the living room seeing Jax it almost knocked her off of her feet. "What happened?" asked Tara in tears. "What happened to Jax?" She rushed over to him and took his vest off of him. She ripped his shirt to get a better look at the wound. "Uh I need…I need my medical bag it is in my room on the dresser." "Please someone go and get it." "Jax please..please wake up Jax."

Opie ran to the guest room and searched for the bag. He brought it back to her.

"Tara what do you need from us?" asked Gemma trying to keep her composure. She couldn't panic she needed to do whatever she could to help save her son. She had already lost one son. Losing Jax would kill her.

"I need fresh towels. As much alcohol as you can find, I'll no more once I see what kind of damage the bullet did." "We may have to get him to a hospital Clay." said Tara her eyes wild with panic and worry as she glanced over at Clay.

Gemma said "Come with me Opie." Gemma raced down the hallway to the linen closet and collected as many fresh towels as she could. She handed them to

+Opie along with the alcohol.

Clay meanwhile the adrenaline had left him and he found himself running out of steam he sat in a chair across from the couch watching the life slip out of Jax's body.

Gemma and Opie returned to the living room. "We have what you asked for Tara."

"Opie, I need your help moving Jax onto the floor. I need a hard surface to work on." said Tara.

Opie dropped the towels and alcohol and helped Tara move Jax's body onto the floor.

Tara got to work on Jax, she was in a panic. This wasn't just any life she was trying to save this was the life of the man she loved. If Jax died at her hands she would never be able to forgive herself. But in the same token who else did she trust more with Jax's life than herself. As Tara worked sweat started to appear on her forehead. "Gemma I need you." "I am going to remove the bullet from Jax's chest and when I do I need to put pressure on the wound to stop the blood flow completely he's already lost so much." "We can't afford for him to lose more."

Clay looked at Opie. "Call the rest of the boys let them know what happened and tell them to go pick up Jax's bike."

Opie nodded hardly able to tear his eyes away from Jax. "Sure Clay." Opie stepped outside to make the call.

Gemma nodded and said "Alright." Gemma got down on the floor next to Tara and watched her pull the bullet out of Jax. As soon as she did Gemma pressed a towel against the wound hoping to stop the blood.

After what seemed like forever Tara finished working on Jax. She had removed both bullets and had stitched him up to stop the bleeding. Tara said "If we don't get him more blood he will go into shock."

Gemma said "Jax and I are the same blood type." Gemma was sitting on the floor next to Jax's body. "My little fair haired boy…" murmured Gemma quietly. She snapped out of it. "I can give him blood."

"I'll have to rig up a transfusion but I think I can do it." said Tara. As she said that Chibs and Bobby arrived at the house and came inside the house.

"Bloody hell." said Chibs surveying the scene. Chibs had served as a medic in the royal army so he had some medical training. "What do you need me to do lass?"asked Chibs.

"I need help rigging up a transfusion kit. Gemma is going to be the donor." Tara took a breath trying to stay calm. Jax was stable for the moment but he wouldn't be for long if he didn't get the blood he needed.

Chibs said "I can do that. I did on the battle field more than once." Chibs tapped Opie and the two of them scrounged around the house looking for what they needed. Chibs put together everything.

Bobby grabbed a robe for Gemma as Tara got the IV for Gemma started.

"Thank you Bobby." Said Gemma sliding the robe on and tying it once Tara had the IV started

Tara then moved over to Jax and started his IV as well.

Chibs walked over and they got Jax and Gemma set up for the transfusion. Afterward there was nothing to do but wait.

"What the hell happened?" asked Gemma finally being able to bring herself to ask the question. She looked over at Clay her stare demanding a truthful answer.

"Zobelle must have had back up because as we were leaving…some guys pulled up and opened fire. I thought we had all managed to get away cleanly but I made it back to the club and realized that Jax didn't. So Opie and I.."

Gemma waved her hand not needing to hear anymore. She shook her head and went back to looking at Jax.

Clay knew that look of disappointment in her eyes and didn't say anything else.

Tara sat next to Jax on the floor as more of the guys arrived. "Jax is going to need more blood than what Gemma can safely give him." "Is anyone else a match?"

Opie nodded and said "I am match too."

Chibs said "I have a friend that runs a clinic about an hour from here." "We could move Jax there." "More equipment, another set of hands, and the right kind of medications." "Once we are sure he is stable we should move him."

Tara nodded and said "That is the best bet if a hospital is out of the question."

Clay said "For now it is." "As long as we can keep him stable it is out of the question." "After what went down tonight they are going to be looking for gunshot victims at area hospitals." "Save his life and he could still end up in prison."

Tara knew Clay was right but it didn't stop her for worrying. The house that was now full of people was eerily silent. Chibs and Bobby had left to get a van ready to transport Jax to Chibs' friend's clinic.

The time continued to tick away until finally Gemma had given all of the blood she could safely give. Tara started to unhook her.

"I am fine Tara. I can give Jax more blood." said Gemma. "Just leave me for a few more minutes."

Tara shook her head and said "Gemma, if I take too much from you…you could end up being a patient too." "Jax wouldn't forgive me if saving him meant hurting you." "Opie is here and he is a match so Jax will still be getting the blood he needs okay?"

"Listen to Tara….." said Clay. "You're my rock Gemma I need you to be okay." said Clay. He walked over and kissed her cheek. "Do what the doc says."

Gemma nodded and said "Fine, I just hate not being able to do more while my son is lying here like this. Helpless…" Gemma took in a deep breath and said "But you are right I won't be good for anyone if I give up too much blood."

Clay kissed her softly. "He is going to be okay, Gemma."

Tara unhooked Gemma and then got Opie set up and ready to go.

Gemma pulled herself up from the floor and went and changed clothes. She came back out and sat with Clay watching Opie give blood to Jax.

After awhile Chibs returned from the club. "The police haven't been there looking for us. So far so good." "The van is ready so we can take Jax whenever you think he is ready Doc."

"We can move him now we shouldn't wait any longer." said Tara.

Clay said "Tara and Chibs will ride in the back of the van with Jax. Bobby you and Ope ride with them."

"Gemma and I will follow in the car with Abel." said Clay.

Everyone packed up and left for the hour's ride to the clinic.

Gemma, Clay, and Abel were the last to leave. Gemma sat on the passenger side of the car. She rested her hand on Clay's knee. "You know that I don't blame you for Jax getting shot right?"

"How could you not…I blame myself for it." said Clay. "I was so busy trying to get away that I didn't even realize that Jax didn't make it back with us." "That isn't just a screw up it is a major one." "And you may say you don't blame me but I saw the look in your eyes." "Maybe you don't want to blame me for it but somewhere…you do."

"I don't blame you Clay, I blame myself. Jax got shot while trying to get vengeance for something that happened to me. More than that I pushed him most of his life to be a member of SAMCRO. I spent years grooming him to be ready for the top spot in the club. I chose this life for my son. And if it claims his life…it is no one's fault but my own."

"Don't count him out yet. He is as stubborn as his mother. Jax isn't dying without one hell of a fight. You've got to know that." "Between you and John he got two sets of stubborn genes." said Clay.

"Well, that is true no one could ever predict John. He was a man of action and a man that did what he wanted." "Even in his last days on this Earth after being hit by a semi truck he lived for two days afterward. The doctors didn't think he would last two hours…but he lasted two days." "That's the stock Jax comes from." said Gemma. "Tara told me earlier today that she is pregnant with twins."

Clay said "Those were a long two days." "Pregnant…Jax didn't mention it to me. Did he know?"

"Tara told him already but with everything going on I guess he just didn't get a chance to tell you." said Gemma.

They both fell silent thinking about what it would mean if Jax didn't pull through.


	6. Chapter 6

The van arrived at the small clinic in the middle of the night. The van pulled around to the backdoor where Chibs' friend was waiting for them. Chibs hopped out of the back of the van and with Clay's help carried Jax into one of the exam rooms in the clinic.

"Tara this is my friend, Carmen Delgado. She's a doctor here and runs the clinic." Chibs said "She's got all of the supplies and equipment that we need." "And she is going to close the clinic down for a day or two to keep this quiet."

Tara was frazzled and tired and felt sick to her stomach but she felt like this might actually be working out. "Dr. Delgado, thank you so much for doing this for us…for my family."

"Please, just call me Carmen. There is no need to thank me. SAMCRO has helped me out on more than one occasion, anything I can do to help I will." "There is a hotel up the road if you all want to get some rest there."

"No, I think we will all want to stay here if that is okay. I don't really need to sleep or anything." said Tara.

"I thought you might say that. But there are some beds here and the clinic will be closed so they won't be in use." "You can get some rest if the mood strikes you."

"Thanks." Tara gave a tired smile and went into the room where Opie, Clay, and Gemma were helping get Jax settled in. Tara sat by his bedside and watched Jax.

Everyone settled in at the clinic for the long haul. No one knew just how long they would be there. Some many things were up in the air at the moment. Jax might not live through the night. The police might be looking for them for what happened at the cigar shop. Zobelle may or may not be dead. No the only person getting any rest was Jax.

The rest of the night ticked away and the sun started to come up. Tara glanced over at Jax and thought how much things had changed in a span of just 24 hours.

Gemma walked into the room having managed an hour or two of sleep. "How is Jax holding up sweetie?" asked Gemma. "Chibs and Opie went out to a diner and brought back breakfast if you are hungry." "I brought some juice for you." said Gemma setting the bottle on a table.

"No change…he hasn't woken up but he hasn't gotten any worse. Thank god for small miracles." said Tara. "How is Abel?"

"He's doing fine. Clay is watching him right now. He slept through it all…" "Babies…can sleep through anything…innocents in this crazy world we live in." "How are you doing? Have you gotten any sleep at all?" asked Gemma.

"No, I've just been sitting here keeping an eye on Jax. I don't think I could sleep even if I tried Gemma." Tara offered a tired smile. "I will be okay once he wakes up."

Gemma smiled and said "It is 10:00 in the morning. You've been awake for more than 24 hours. You won't be doing him any good if you are a mess. You are pregnant so you need to rest and eat. But I can't say that you are doing anything different than I would be doing." "Just try to get some rest some time." "Chibs mentioned some cots in the storage room. I could always ask him to set one up in here for you. That way you are still close to Jax."

Tara didn't want to agree but she knew that Gemma was right. "Sure, I'd like that Gemma. I am feeling pretty tired."

"Alright, I will get Chibs on that and I will bring you some breakfast." Gemma patted her on the shoulder and left the room.

A few minutes later Chibs came into the room and set up the cot for her. "Just let me know if you need anything lass. We are all here for Jackie boy." "Even the guys that aren't here right now."

"Thank you Chibs." Tara said "Jax always said that SAMCRO was a family. I see that more than ever now."

"It's a brotherhood." said Chibs. He smiled at her and left the room.

Gemma came back into the room with a plate and a fork. "Here breakfast is served." "I can't speak to the quality since it is just some greasy spoon place but hey. Nourishment is nourishment right?"

Tara chuckled and said "Something like that." She smiled and started eating and Gemma left her alone. Tara finished eating and then laid down on the cot and tried to get some rest. Tara drifted off for a few hours without realizing it. She woke up around 4:00 that afternoon and checked on Jax. There was still no change. Tara's heart sank. She worried that Jax might never regain consciousness. Her mind went over everything she did. Could she have made a mistake or missed something. She parked herself in the chair next to his bed and sat there holding his hand. But soon her tiredness took over again and she fell asleep with her head resting on his arm.

At 8:00 that night Jax started to wake up. His memory was hazy and he couldn't figure out what had happened or even where he was at the moment. He opened his eyes and glanced around the room not seeing anything familiar. He looked over and saw Tara asleep with her head resting on him. He tiredly moved his other hand and caressed her hair.

Tara jumped, startled by the sudden movement. Her eyes darted to Jax's face and more important his open eyes. "Jax….Jax! You're awake." said Tara grinning ear from ear. Tears started forming in the corner of her eyes.

"Where am I?" asked Jax confused.

"Oh you are in a clinic…about an hour away from Charming. A friend of Chibs' runs this place." said Tara. "You've been out for over 12 hours." "Maybe more…I don't know what time it is." said Tara.

"W..what…" asked Jax coughing.

"Stop…stop talking for now please…don't strain yourself. I am going to get you some water." said Tara getting up. Tara walked over to a table and poured Jax a cup of water and grabbed a straw. She walked back over to the bed and said "Here drink alittle."

Jax drank alittle of the water still trying to get his bearings. "What happened?" asked Jax after a few minutes.

Tara started checking Jax's vitals and making sure he had feeling in all of his extremities. "We can talk about that later Jax. I need to make sure that…"

Jax cut her off. "Tara I am fine. I can feel everything." "I just want to know what happened to me."

Tara sighed and had a seat next to his bed. "All, I know is that you were shot last night. You were shot once in the chest…by a fairly large caliber gun judging by the bullet I pulled from your chest last night." "Clay and Opie brought you to the house." "Clay told your mom that you must have been shot outside of the cigar shop." "Do you remember any of that?"

Jax thought about it for a moment but shook his head. "No, I don't remember anything after leaving the house last night." Jax tried to remember but was drawing a blank.

"Sometimes that happens after a traumatic event." "And it looks like you whacked your head pretty good somehow." "You are just foggy right now…I am sure your memory of the night will come back soon." "For now you need to save your energy and you need to rest up." "I am going to go and tell your mom that you are awake. I know she is worried sick about you."

"No…I want to wait awhile. I just want to spend some time with you." said Jax. "How are you feeling? Are you and the babies okay?" asked Jax as the fog started to lift a little.

"I am doing okay now that you are awake." said Tara. "For awhile I thought I was going to lose you for good." "I've lived my life without you but I don't like it." confessed Tara in a quiet voice. She lightly squeezed his hand.

"We always make it back to one another don't we? No matter how long we are apart or what separates us. We always make it back to one another. That is never going to change." Jax kissed her hand. "Is Clay here?"

"Clay is here, your mom, Opie, Chibs, & Bobby." "Of course Abel is here too." said Tara with a small smile. She wanted to take his romantic words and believe them with her whole heart. But his blood still stained the clothes she was wearing. Tara fully believed that they could overcome any obstacle, but death wasn't an obstacle. Death was a permanent brick wall that could separate them. Tara snapped out of her own thoughts and asked "Is there anyone you wanted to talk to?"

"Where'd you go just now?" asked Jax.

"Oh…no where I was just thinking about how glad I am that you are awake and that Gemma will kill me if I don't tell her soon." "You know how protective of you she can be. She would have given you every pint of blood in her body during the transfusion last night if we had let her."

"You are holding back….what about full disclosure? We are both supposed to be honest with each other. That is the only way this thing works. A relationship can't survive when too much is left unsaid." Jax said "Talk to me…"

Tara took in a deep breath. "What do you want me to say Jax? I almost lost you last night. You almost died. I had to wrench a bullet out of your chest on the floor of your mother's living room." "I didn't know if you were going to live or die and that scared the hell out of me." I know this is the life. I understand that. I am used to patching up bruised, battered, and shot bikers by now. But it was different having to work on you. The entire time I was scared that you would die and I would be raising Abel and our babies all alone." "I was scared if you died while I worked on you that I would never be able to look at myself in the mirror again." "I was scared of losing the best thing that has ever happened to me!" "And the nightmare still isn't over." "Because this could still blowback on the club and all of you could end up in prison."

Jax was silent a minute processing all of the words that raced out of Tara's mouth. He wanted to say something to soothe her. He wanted to say something that could make all of this better, but he knew there was nothing. "The club…it is my life. It is all I know…it is what I am good at."

"Don't!" said Tara forcefully. "Don't lie to me but more importantly do not lie to yourself." "Do not sell yourself short to explain away your involvement in SAMCRO." "You are one of the smartest men I know." "You could do anything you wanted. This is what you want to do. Own that…don't cop out…just don't."

"What do you want me to do Tara?" asked Jax. "You know I want to change the direction of the club. But I can't do that until I am in a position of power." "I can't make any real changes until I am president."

"I am not asking you to leave the club. I know how much it means to you Jax. I'd never ask you to do anything like that." "Just don't…don't try to take a cop out." "This is the life you want. You want to be president of the club one day." "You've had that dream for as long as I have known you." Tara said "I need some fresh air." She got up and walked out of the room.

She was going to tell Gemma that Jax was awake but as she rounded the corner the look on everyone's faces showed that they had heard the fight. Tara just kept walking and went outside to get some fresh air.

Opie followed Tara outside to keep an eye on her. Opie had been friends with Tara as long as Jax had been friends with her. They had all grown up together in Charming.

"You gonna be okay Tara?" asked Opie leaning against the building.

"Don't have any choice…this is the life I signed up for when I decided that I loved Jax." "I knew what I was getting into in theory." "I just think…theory and practice are very different." Tara looked at Opie. "Does it get easier?"

"It never did for Donna…especially after I went to prison. She was angry as hell." "But it made her life more difficult. Instead of looking to the club for love and support she turned her back on the people who would have been right there to pick up the slack." said Opie. "For better or worse we are a family Tara and we take care of our own."

"I know that Opie and I believe that. I believe in Jax I trust him. I trust you. And the longer I am around all of the guys I trust all of them. But that doesn't mean that I am not scared out of my mind. I'm pregnant with twins…what am I supposed to do if Jax dies...?" asked Tara

"Wow you are pregnant…Jax didn't even tell me. He usually tells me everything." said Opie shocked.

Tara stopped him. "Don't take it personal Opie. I didn't tell him until yesterday morning." She smiled and said "I am sure you will be the god father."

Opie smiled and said "I better be." "I know you are worried about the 'what ifs' Tara. But I am always here for you. And with you being pregnant with Gemma's grandchildren she will never let you leave her sight. You will have more help from her than you can stand."

Tara chuckled a little and said "Well, that is true. Hell if Gemma were anymore protective Jax would probably still be living at home with her and Clay."

Opie laughed and said "You are right about that. Though I don't think Jax or Clay would go for it."

"Thanks for coming out here and talking to me. I know I stormed out like a kid having a tantrum." said Tara.

He laughed and said "Well, I know how you women are prone to your dramatics." He moved as Tara swatted at him.

"Oh ha ha." said Tara.

Opie chuckled and asked "What? I was just saying women are emotional especially pregnant women."

"Oh just wait the hormones will get worse." "I am going to go in and change clothes." She smiled and headed inside.


	7. Chapter 7

Gemma gave Jax a few minutes to collect himself before she made her way to his room. Gemma lightly knocked on the door and then walked into the room. She smiled seeing Jax lying in the bed wide awake.

Jax still looked weak and pale but managed to offer an encouraging smile. "Hi mom…how are you doing?"

Gemma walked over to his bed and had a seat. "Well, I was thinking that I should be asking you that question." "How are you feeling?" "You don't know how good it is to see your eyes open."

"Like a jerk…" answered Jax truthfully. He sighed and shook his head. "You know it takes more than a bullet to keep me down."

"Well, you are a Teller you can't exactly help that. It is in your nature." "I know John was always good for putting his foot in his mouth." said Gemma with a smile. "But he also knew how to get back on my good side."

"I think I did a little more than that. I don't want my life to scare Tara away. I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman." "And as much as she loves me I see how much this hurts her." Jax looked at Gemma and shook his head.

Gemma looked at the sadness in her son's eyes and said "You've got a good woman in Tara. She held it together when you needed her the most. A lot of women wouldn't have been able to do what she did last night." "And she didn't leave your side a minute that you were unconscious." "But this life is hard on any woman." "Even me."

"I hate that she had to go through that…that she had to do that." "Hard on any woman? Even you? You never show it…" said Jax. Jax could only remember a few occasions when his mother had seem to lose her grip on her emotions. One of those times was when his younger brother Thomas had died as a result of a congenital heart defect. Jax lived with the same defect as did Gemma and Jax's son Abel. Another time was when Gemma had to tell Jax that his father was dead.

"She wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Who else could she have trusted to save your life?" asked Gemma. "Of course it is hard on me…watching you and Clay ride off last night into the unknown…I was scared. I know the danger you face when you leave. I know every time that you or Clay ride away…it could be the very last time I see you alive." "The difference is that I've been dealing with this since before you were born." "The late nights wondering if your father would make it home safely. The times he landed himself in prison." "And as far as the illegal aspect. Well, hell I never did have many morals on that end." "I guess I always believed that the ends justified the means." "I never questioned the way John or Clay brought home the bacon. I was just damn glad that they did."

"I tried to promise her that everything would be okay but she blew up at me…" "She was so angry…but more than that she looked hurt. And I hate to think that I've caused her that sort of pain." said Jax.

"You can't make her those kinds of promises." "John used to promise that he would always come home to me. Until one day he didn't." "That was the second worst day of my life. Getting the call that your father had been hit by a semi truck and drug for…God knows how far." "And then I went to the hospital and saw his mangled body laying there in that hospital bed. He hardly looked like himself. He only regained consciousness once…I watched machines do his breathing…." "And for two days I sat vigil by that man's bedside and watched him slip away from me. Watching him break his promise to me." "And I was angry…I was angry at myself for believing him when I knew it was a promise he couldn't guarantee. Because there are no guarantees in this life baby. There is only a guarantee of an afterlife." Gemma hastily wiped away her tears.

Jax watched the pained expression on his mother's face as she recounted his father's last days. "Then what do I do? I can't promise her that I will be there for her. All that I can promise is that while I am able to…I will give her everything I have and spend every moment I have with her making our lives good." "That's all I have to give." said Jax.

"And that is all she wants. She doesn't want hollow promises…lies…" "She wants the truth. She deserves the truth Jax. The truth smacked her in the face last night and she is reeling from it." said Gemma. "I know it is in a man's nature to want to fix things…but this isn't something you can fix. You can't take away her fear of losing you."

Jax laid there thinking to himself and silence engulfed the room for several minutes. "When are you going to stop being right?"

"When I die and even then…I will still be right. It is the perk of being a mother. The long hours of labor and the constant sacrificing gives us a lifetime pass." said Gemma chuckling.

Tara walked into the room.

Gemma smiled and said "I am going to leave you two alone."

"Oh no. Gemma you don't need to leave. Please stay. I was just coming in to give Jax some more pain medication. What he was given earlier is due to wear off soon." said Tara.

"No, I think the two of you need to be alone. No referee." joked Gemma. She winked and got up leaving the room.

Tara walked over and swabbed Jax's arm. "This may sting a bit." Tara injected Jax and then threw away the syringe. "The medication should take effect soon." "How are you feeling?"

"I'm in alittle pain. I'm sort of tired too…my chest feels heavy but other than that I am okay." said Jax. "Come here I want to talk to you please."

"Jax, let's just wait until you are feeling better to talk. I shouldn't have unloaded on you the way that I did. You didn't need that from me." said Tara.

Jax reached for her hand and said "I am fine…I want to talk about it now. And seeing as I obviously won't be going anywhere any time soon…now is a good time to talk." "Please…come get in the bed with me."

Tara wanted to resist the temptation but she couldn't. "Okay Jax…" Tara kicked off her shoes and gingerly climbed into the hospital bed with Jax.

Jax curled his arm around Tara and groaned a little from the movement. He kissed the top of her head. "I love you…you know that right?"

"Of course I know that you love me Jax. I could never doubt that." said Tara.

"I've loved you for a very long time..since before I knew what love actually was…what it really meant. Do you remember for the first time I asked you out?" asked Jax.

"Ask?" asked Tara laughing. "You didn't ask me out…we were freshmen in high school and one day in the cafeteria you walked up to me and said Hey Tara you're my girlfriend."

Jax chuckled and said "well, you didn't exactly say no…."

She laughed softly. "Who would tell Jax Teller no? Besides, even then I couldn't think of anyone I wanted to be with other than you." "I think it was a year or two later when we snuck off to LA and I got that tattoo of your name on my lower back." "Forever branded myself with your name."

He smiled and said "I was grinning for weeks…months after that. Hell sometimes I still grin when my eyes roam across it."

"Something about men and staking claim on the woman they love." said Tara.

"Speaking of that…I want to stake my claim in another way." said Jax.

Tara raised an eyebrow. "Are you kidding me? You were just shot in the chest. We cannot have sex!"

Jax laughed heartily and then groaned in pain. "Ow laughing is not a great option right now." "No, I was not talking about sex Tara."

"Oh." said Tara sheepishly. "I just assumed…" "Well, what are you talking about then?"

"I love you more than life itself. I know I can't promise you forever. But I can promise to love you with all of my heart for every day I am allowed to live. I want you to marry me." said Jax seriously.

Tara was stunned for a moment. Her heart felt like it was beating a 1,000 beats a minute. More than anything she wanted to marry Jax. But reality sunk in. "Jax, you've just been through something traumatic. You almost died...are you sure that you aren't proposing to me as a reaction to that." "You know I am not going anywhere right?"

"I know what I have just been through. But that isn't why I am asking you to marry me. You are the only woman I have ever truly loved. You are the only woman that truly understands me…all sides of me: man, outlaw, father, and everything in between." "I've wanted to ask you before now but it never seemed like the right time. The problems we were having in town with Zobelle and his crew." "I wanted to wait until things cooled down." "But if this has taught me anything it is that waiting…is stupid…nothing is guaranteed." "I've got the ring back at the house waiting on us." said Jax. "So what do you say…you want to marry me?" asked Jax with a smirk


	8. Chapter 8

Tara was silent for a few minutes not saying anything. Finally a smile crept over her lips and she said "Of course I will marry you Jax." "As long as you are sure that you really mean it…I will definitely marry you."

Jax smirked and said "Yes, I am sure that I want to marry you. I've never been this sure about anything else in my life." "So you want to do the big church wedding thing?" asked Jax figuring that is what most women wanted.

Tara shook her head and said "I think we should get married in your mom's backyard. I want all of the guys to be able to be there and be comfortable. Somehow I just don't see Tig or Bobby fitting in at the church in suits and ties. It'll feel like court attire."

"It means a lot to me that you want the guys to be comfortable at our wedding." "You know Bobby dresses up like Elvis and does gigs and technically he can perform wedding ceremonies."

Tara laughed and shook her head. "I love you Teller but don't push your luck. We are not being married by Bobby dressed as Elvis." "That is too weird even for me." "But what I do want is for the wedding to be sooner than later."

"Well, it was worth a shot." chuckled Jax. "Well, how soon are we talking about babe? The next 6 months or?"

"Well.. I was thinking more like the next two weeks. Well, once you can stand on your own two feet that is. I don't want to wait. I want to be your wife." Tara smiled and said "Maybe we can head down to Big Sur, we can take Abel with us and make it a mini family vacation." "Speaking of Abel you haven't seen him since you woke up. Do you want me to go get him for you?"asked Tara.

Jax said "If you want to get married in six days then that is what we will do. But it will be a lot of work to get everything together so quickly. Though I know a few friends at the county it shouldn't be hard to get the license in a day." "Actually I need to speak to Clay can have him bring the kid in." Jax smiled to her.

"Well, you don't have to worry about the details Jax. I am sure that your mom will be more than willing to help me out with everything." "Oh yeah sure…I will let Clay know." said Tara. She hated that he was already about to talk about 'business' the same 'business' that had landed him in this bed to begin with. She kissed his cheek and left the room.

"Thanks Tara." said Jax. He struggled to get himself sitting up in the bed more.

Tara walked down the hallway and spotted Clay sitting in the waiting room area watching tv with the rest of the guys. Clay looked up hearing her footsteps approach. "Hey Doc. How's our boy doing?" asked Clay.

"He's doing good. Really good actually." "He's asking to see you and Abel."

Clay stood up and walked over to Gemma picking up Abel. "I'll see you in a bit." Clay walked back to Jax's room and closed the door behind him.

Tara sat down with Gemma and said "Jax proposed to me." She wondered how Gemma would take the news. They had been getting along as of late but there had been a time when Gemma couldn't stand Tara.

"It is about time he smartened himself up and married you." "Congratulations honey. I am happy for the two of you." "So have you thought about a date?" asked Gemma.

"Two weeks." said Tara with a smile. "We are going to get married in two weeks. I want to get married soon not just because of what happened but because it is the right thing to do. I love him I don't want to wait. I know it is asking a lot but I was hoping we could have the wedding at your house in the back yard?"

Gemma laughed and said "I wouldn't mind at all. I am used to the boys getting drunk and passing out at my house." She chuckled and said "I would be glad to have it there." "But with the wedding in two weeks you've got a lot to do to get ready for it."

"Well, I was hoping that you would help me Gemma. I mean your family is the only family I have." said Tara. Tara's mother had died when she was a young girl and her father died while she was away at college. She had some extended relatives in San Francisco and San Diego but she wasn't very close to them.

"I would be happy to help you Tara. Welcome to the family kiddo. You'll be marrying Jax the same way I married his father…pregnant." said Gemma hugging her.

Tara laughed and said "So much for waiting until marriage huh?"

"Well, atleast you will be married to him by the time the twins are born." "Have any hopes on gender?" asked Gemma

"I don't know I haven't really given it much thought. I guess I'd really like daughters. But I love Abel so much I can't say that I would mind having two boys either. I can see myself chasing them around already." said Tara.

Gemma chuckled and said "Take it from me boys are a handful but you love them to death." "I made my whole life about Jax and Thomas." "Those boys gave me purpose and meaning in life." "I would have done anything for them." "And then when Thomas died..well that just made me more dedicated to making sure that Jax was always taken care of." "Which is also why I couldn't stand you two being together the closer you both got to graduating high school."

"Why?" asked Tara confused.

Gemma chuckled and said "I think most mothers worry about it even if they don't think they worry about it. When your son falls in love…you are no longer the only woman in his life." "And I knew as soon as you two started dating…I knew how much Jackson loved you…" "I knew you'd be along for the long haul." "But also saw that you wanted to put a lot of road between you and Charming, California." "And that worried me.."

"Gemma…Jax loves you. He would do anything for you. He would kill for you. Nothing I could have ever said could have gotten him to leave his family or the club behind. I just…I had to get away from my father. He was a depressed drunk..and watching him was…too painful for me. I felt like I was suffocating under the weight of his sorrow." said Tara.

"Oh I know that. But when he was younger I had the fear of losing him… of him slipping away from me." "I think losing Thomas and then losing John…I was scared of losing anything else especially not Jax." said Gemma. "Well, I understand the need to get away. I ran away from Charming when I was 16 years old. I had to get away from my family. I needed a clean break." "And then I found John and I realized it isn't the family you are born into it is the family that you make."

Tara said "Well, Jax has always been my family…him and Opie." "And even you and Clay…spending time at your house always made me fell…normal." Tara said "I couldn't imagine losing my son and husband within a couple of years of each other." Tara fell into silence thinking about Jax and thinking about the possibility of their children having the heart condition that Gemma, Jax, and Abel shared. They were all fine but that defect had killed Jax's younger brother.


	9. Chapter 9

Two weeks later….

The last two weeks had been a whirlwind of activity for Tara. She was busy taking care of Abel, planning the wedding and helping Jax recover from being shot. And although Jax was still in some pain he was going to be able to make it through their wedding ceremony which was set for that evening in Gemma and Clay's backyard.

Tara and Gemma had spent the last two weeks planning the details of the wedding and Tara was learning the finer art of how to throw a party that would have rowdy bikers in attendance. Because of all of the planning and Jax needing time to recuperate from being shot Clay had insisted on them staying at the house with him and Gemma.

It was 4:00 on the day of the wedding and Tara was starting to feel exhausted from the activities of the last two weeks had definitely taken their toll on her. Tara was standing on a ladder hanging the last of the decorations in the backyard. She finished and stood on the ladder with a thoughtful look on her face.

Jax walked outside seeing her up there. "You know you could have asked one of the guys to do that for you?" "I don't really like the idea of you up on a ladder being pregnant and all."

"I've seen what you guys considered to be decoration…leather and women's panties. I think I could do without their decorating expertise." teased Tara. "Hold the ladder steady so that I can climb down if you are so concerned."

Jax laughed. "Well, what more does any man need other than leather, booze, and a woman taking off her panties." Jax walked over and held onto the ladder as Tara climbed down. He offered Tara his hand as she stepped off the ladder.

"Hmm, no more women taking their panties off for you…how sad for you. You are getting hitched." Tara smiled and gently wrapped her arms around him.

"As long as you still get naked for me I think I will survive." "And I do so like to see you naked." said Jax feeling her up a little with a smirk.

Tara chuckled and moved back lightly slapping his hands. "Hands off…you don't get that until after we say I do. It'll be more special that way."

"I don't understand you women. Sex is always good." countered Jax.

"Silly men thinking that sex is always good. If you only knew." teased Tara. "There are going to be a lot of sad SAMCRO groupies when you say 'I Do' today." "How will they manage without you?"

He chuckled and said "I haven't slept with any of them in months. But I am sure they will still be a little sad." "Well, I am sure that Tig would be willing to pick up the slack. You know Tig…he's like Mikey…." said Jax laughing.

"Like Mikey?" asked Tara confused. "Who is Mikey?"

"You know..the cereal commercial? Mikey will eat anything?" asked Jax. "Well, Tig will sleep with anyone as long as it is female and alive."

Tara burst into the laughter. "Okay that is just disturbing and gross. Thank you for giving me that mental image."

Jax chuckled and said "Mental image the real images that I have in my head would scar you for life. Tig is as weird as they come." "So we get married in two hours…are you ready?"

"I've been ready for a very long time. I can't wait to be your wife. That way I can start bossing you around." joked Tara.

"And you don't already do that?" asked Jax laughing. He kissed her softly. "I still can't believe you won't let me see you in your dress. You believe in those old wives' tales about it being bad luck?"

"I don't know about bad luck but hey why tempt fate. We've been having some bad luck lately maybe this will be the start of a good stretch. Who knows, right?" "More importantly though I want my dress to be a surprise." said Tara.

"Well, I know you will look beautiful in whatever it is that you wear." said Jax. He looked at his watch and said "I had better head over to the house so that I can get ready. Opie said that he would meet me over there."

She smiled and said "I am so glad to see that Opie is your best man. I can't think of a better person to be standing next to you."

"And your friend Melanie from the hospital is still going to be your maid of honor right?" asked Jax.

Tara nodded and said "She should be arriving soon." She smiled and said "So you need to get going." "I will see you in a couple of hours." "I love you." said Tara kissing him.

"I love you too Tara." said Jax. He smiled and then left heading over to their house to get ready for the wedding.

Tara headed inside and started getting ready as well. Even though she knew this was what she wanted she felt nervous as the time for the wedding approached. The two hours seemed to fly by as Tara finally finished getting ready.

In the backyard everyone had arrived for the wedding and was seated in the folding chairs that had been set up facing a flower covered arch where Jax was standing along with Bobby who would be officiating the wedding. Jax was wearing a pair of black suit pants and a black long sleeve button up shirt.

Gemma was sitting in the front row next to Clay holding Abel in her lap. Abel was wearing a matching pair of black suit pants and a long sleeve button up shirt. But he was also wearing a red satin vest.

Tara's maid of honor poked her head out of the door and said "Juice, Tara is ready. You can start the music." Juice started the music and the familiar strings of Aerosmith's song 'Amazing' started to play. Tara smiled hearing the song…it was their song. Tara stepped out of the house holding a bouquet of calla lilies.

Jax looked down the aisle seeing Tara and smirked. There was the woman he loved wearing anything but the traditional white dress. Tara was wearing a knee length, strapless, red satin dress with a jewel crusted band at the waist and at three months pregnant she was sporting a definite baby bump. Her hair was curly and pulled up into a bun.

Tara started walking down the aisle to meet Jax at the flower covered arch. She finally made it to Jax at the front and took his hand.

"You look amazing." whispered Jax gently squeezing her hand.

Bobby smiled and said "We are gathered here today to join Jackson Teller and Tara Knowles in holy matrimony." "Now we've all known these two were meant to be together we've just had to wait for the two of them to figure that out." "Marriage is a lasting bond between a man and woman that super cedes everything else. As you two walk the path of life remember to always do it together. Let the struggles of one also be the struggles of both."

"Do you Jackson Teller take Tara Knowles to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse for as long as you both shall live?" asked Bobby.

"Hell yeah I do." said Jax with a smirk. His 'I do' drawing chuckles and a few cheers from the guests.

"And do you Tara Knowles take Jackson Teller to be your lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse for as long as you both shall live?" asked Bobby.

"I do." said Tara.

"Well, then by the powers granted to me by the great state of California I pronounce you husband and wife." "You may now kiss the bride."

Jax smirked and grabbed Tara pulling her tight against him. He kissed her passionately for as long as he could manage. He pulled back breathless.

Tara smiled after the kiss and said "You still know how to knock me off my feet Teller." She slapped him on the butt playfully eliciting laughs from their friends and family.

Jax wrapped an arm around Tara and smiled at their friends and family. "After everything we have all been through lately it is good to finally have something to smile about. I am glad to have all of you here to celebrate this occasion with us." "So everyone drink up and party." Jax walked over and picked up Abel and took him over to Tara.

Juice cranked up the music as the party got under way.

Gemma looked at Clay and asked "Think they'll have a happily ever after?"

Clay kissed her softly and said "Sure, we all deserve a happy ending even an outlaw." "Come and dance with me hot mama." said Clay.

Gemma smiled and got up to dance with Clay. As she was getting up to dance she spotted a black crow sitting on the flower covered arch. She didn't believe in omens but….

**The End?**


End file.
